On Today’s Episode of Why I Was Late to Work

I promise this back story is relevant so stay with me.

I’m afraid of cats… They genuinely freak me out. You don’t know where you stand with a cat. They will stare you down with their creepy eyes and attack without notice. A dog, on the other hand, will show right off the bat if it’s aggressive.

Now, I had a hard time getting up this morning. My alarm went off at 5:55 but I didn’t crawl out of bed until 6:22. My kids didn’t all finish waking up until after 7, we leave at 7:30! Dominic followed me around crying while I tried to get ready and Jasmine refused to do anything she needed to do. I did what I had to do, and I started handing out cookies. Worked like a charm and we were out the door right on time, no time to spare.

Who comes walking up, right as I get my ducklings out the door? This cat that roams the neighborhood. He has a collar, so I know he’s not a stray. The boys chase it down the driveway with me chasing them. Jasmine starts playing with her toys as I’m dragging Thing One and Thing Two, both screaming and trying to fight their way to the cat.

We are all finally next to the van, but who comes strolling up? That damn cat! I don’t know how to read cats, but it starts rubbing its body on the walls and patio furniture. I think this means it’s happy? Anyway, it walks up to the boys and they go to pet it. I freak out because all I picture is a scratch to the face.

At this point, I’m afraid to even open the van. What if it jumps in?! That’s all I need: a strange cat in my van when I need to leave. I’m swatting hands away trying to keep everyone safe. The cat finally walks away and I throw everyone in the van and shut the door. I then wait to make sure that DAMN CAT isn’t anywhere under us because I don’t want to run it over. I don’t like cats but they are still living creatures, I wish them no harm. I see it in the neighbor’s yard and we can finally leave the house, late again.

My current google search: how to repel cats… Cat

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